*This is the webinar transcript, if you want to watch the video recording, it is HERE
Garrett Murrin: Welcome , everyone! We want to welcome you all here to this webinar.
Avril Murrin: Today we’re exploring our natural rhythms to uncover our potential as females. We’re going to be looking at a few different points here. Just keep in mind that this is a huge, huge subject, so we’re just barely scratching the surface of this today. There is an entire workshop built around this idea, there’s an entire book written around this subject. So, we are really just scratching the surface today.
Garrett: We are going to make a number of statements in this webinar that we won’t have time to qualify, so they’ll just be bland statements. We’re going to ask you to keep your peace about that, reserve your judgment until you watch (read) the whole webinar because things will may answer your own questions.
There is a number of subheadings that we will cover throughout the presentation:
- Using the Language of the Body vs Suppressing It.
- Getting clear on our choices and the directions they take us.
- coMra Therapy as a tool to facilitate the journey of wholeness.
- How nature wants us to win.
This is a presentation we created within Radiant Life Technologies and today Avril and I are presenting it.
- Who is this presentation for?
- What is this practical, simple and universal approach?
- What Does True Healing Mean?
- The Natural Rhythms and the Role of the Hormones
- Exploring the Opportunities For True Healing
- Menses – a natural cycle in the life of a woman
- What is the purpose of menstruation?
- My Own Story of Filling in the Gaps of Knowledge
- Menses – to Begin Exploring the Opportunities for True Healing In Relationships
- Stop Suppressing and Stop Resisting
- Menses – a Natural Rhythm of Mystery and Power
- Practical Steps For True Healing
- Using coMra Therapy to Harmonize Your Menstrual Cycle
Today we start with the picture below:
The Spiritual Being
When you look at this picture, it’s very obvious and maybe you’ve heard the expression “these are some old souls”. You can’t really look at these pictures without getting a sense that there’s an intelligence indwelling those bodies that is
independent of them. In other words, the body says “I’m several months old” but the intelligence says “I’m much more than just seven months old, there’s a lot going on in here”.
When looking at the quote on this picture – “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we’re spiritual beings on a human journey,” most people will intuitively nod their head about that but we don’t want to take this for granted. So, this is going to be one of the key points that we’re going to address today as we go through this presentation.
Who is this presentation for?
We’re going to ask you some questions:
- Are you interested in a practical, simple, universal approach to make the preceding quote a reality in your life and not just an intellectual understanding?
- Are you interested in exploring the mysterious journey of a woman through this particular approach?
- Are you interested in getting clear on the question “why even bother with this”?
- Are you interested in understanding how coMra therapy can support you in such a journey?
If any of these interests you, I would say please stay with us. We would also like to point out that this is for men as well as women. Men, if you’re in a relationship or you know any woman, then this is going to be a tool, some insights perhaps that you may have never heard of to help you navigate your relationships, support the women in your life and facilitate better relationships. So, it’s not just for women.
What is this practical, simple and universal approach?
When we look again at this quote “We’re not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey,” this word “spiritual being” is one where we will touch on a little bit. There’s a lot of different ways this is described:
- spiritual being
- true self
- higher self
- reincarnating ego
- the authentic self
- the soul
- the observer
There’s a myriad of different ways to describe this but today we want to take all of those and bring them together by using only one word. One word that everyone uses every day in their language and that’s universal to us all, and that is the word “I”. We’re going to use this word throughout the presentation, so remember whenever we’re using it we’re referring to this spiritual being. And the journey of “me” is the human journey. In other words, a spiritual being on a human journey is actually the journey of “me” – my body, my emotions, my thoughts etc. Another way you could express this is – “I” am having the journey or dream of “me”.
We just touched on a lot of information very quickly, so let’s take a moment to get grounded here today. We’re going to do an exercise. This exercise is a way to get practical about this “I”, about the spiritual being. It’s a tool we use to give you the sense of, to give you a feeling. As you remember at the beginning, we said we want you to get as much of a feeling for this as any intellectual understanding. So, this exercise will help impart that feeling.
I would like you to just sit in a chair and close your eyes, or you may prefer to remain standing. Take a deep breath and let it out…Take another deep breath and let it out…Now, if you’re sitting or standing, feel the close on your body, feel your body in the chair and now I want you to move some part of your body, just move it. So, now if you can move your body you cannot be your body because you control your body.
Now, I want you to think a thought, it doesn’t matter what thought it is. Then, I want you to think about a different thought. If you can change your thoughts and pick what you think about, you cannot be your thoughts because you are controlling your thoughts, your thoughts not you.
Now, let’s look at emotions. I would ask you to maybe easiest if you recollect a time in your life, unless something’s happening currently, and experience an emotion related to fear, anger, joy or melancholy. Just experience that emotion…
Now, recollect a different event perhaps or something current… Right now, you can change your emotion from whatever emotion it was you were experiencing previously to a different emotion. Therefore because you can change your emotions you cannot be your emotions.
Which begs the question who or what am I that is controlling this body, these thoughts, these emotions? So, open your eyes and now we’re going to take the next step. We’re going to look at true healing.
What Does True Healing Mean?
Perhaps you’ve heard different ways to define this, so we’re going to define it the way we define it for anybody who has worked with me or knows me in relation to coMra therapy. I would have recommended reading the foreword to the coMra User Guide or you could look at “Health and Holism in the 21st century”, another book produced by our founder of Radiant Life Technology, Théun Mares. There it is given our perspective on true healing.
We’re not going to go through the foreword of the User Guide today but we’re going to give you some highlights from that to impart the feeling of it.
“A gap in our knowledge brings on dis-ease.”
In other words something is ill, out of balance etc. We just used this word “knowledge”. What do we mean by knowledge? Knowledge is something we know experientially and it’s beyond information. For example, if you read about bungee jumping that is information, whereas if you go bungee jumping that’s knowledge of bungee jumping. If you take a small child and you say “Don’t touch that, it’s hot!” it doesn’t mean anything to that child until they have the experience; then they have the knowledge that it’s hot.
When we have a gap in our knowledge, when we have a lack of experience or we haven’t had let’s say an experience where we can move beyond the dis-ease, this is where the disease sits. Firstly, this is going to happen in our thinking and our emotional patterns. We all have subconscious and conscious mind. So, if we’re not able to register and remedy things on that level for whatever reason, it can all manifest in the body. In other words, the body is going to reflect where we are at.
This is actually a blessing in disguise because it supports us in filling in those gaps in our knowledge, those gaps in our experience about ourselves and about life. Therefore, the disease is an expression to help us tune into and uncover that gap in knowledge. If you get out of balance just as a very simple example, the simplest thing to do is to pause in order to regain your balance. So, if there is a dis-ease and we don’t see it, then the body starts to manifest which creates the need to pause and observe what is going on. All that actually helps us to uncover the gap in our knowledge.
Avril: Yes, it’s an opportunity to learn.
Garrett: Thank you! It’s an opportunity to learn, exactly. That’s really what we’re here to do, we are here to learn. So, because of this setup, that the way life sets it up using the language of the body, this is a tool to help facilitate us filling in the gaps in our knowledge. When we correct those mindsets that cause the disease in the first place, this is what true healing is all about.
I will give you an example here. If you have a home and there’s a smoke detector and it starts going off, if you don’t know it’s a false alarm you don’t go rip the smoke detector out of the ceiling. Probably, you will go find what is causing the smoke detector to go off. So, when we get into a symptomatic approach or just suppression approach, what we’re in essence doing is ripping the smoke detector out of the ceiling. We could be doing that with our thoughts, with our emotions and with their physical symptoms.
When that happens though if you think about it in the context of a fire in the house to use the analogy – the fire or whatever caused the smoke detector to go off is still burning and over time that is going to destroy the house, will destroy the body so to speak. When we look at all of this in terms of a gap in knowledge, then really the biggest gap in our knowledge is this knowledge of “I”, of who we are as that spiritual being. Remember the question I posed in the beginning – “Who or what am I?” if I am this thing that controls all of these or supposed to control all of these things.
A Gap In Knowledge
So, when we look at where the gaps are, these are in “me”. Let me give you a simple example of a “me” – “me” at five years old is different than “me” at 20 years old, is different than “me” at 40 years old. Those are different versions of “me”. We talk about thoughts, my thoughts and opinions – what was important when I was five wasn’t important when I was 20, what was important when I was 20 wasn’t important when I was 40. These are all of those different fragments.
As we fill in the gaps in knowledge and we learn how to fill them in, we work from the “I”. In other words, we get a bigger perspective. If you take the quote from Einstein “You can’t solve a problem on the same level it was created,” this in essence is what that talks about. We need to get a much larger perspective than these fragmented parts of ourselves can provide us and shift it to working from the “I” which gives the perspective to be able to start to fill in those gaps in our knowledge.This is really what we want to do today in terms of the title of the presentation.
Avril: To find the true cause of the disease.
The Natural Rhythms and the Role of the Hormones
Garrett: To give a little interface between the body and the thoughts, and emotions we want to talk very briefly about hormones. Hormones are always at work 24/7, 365 days a year. What do we mean by hormones? We’re not going to go into that today, we’ve covered it in a previous webinar. The body experiences changes in natural rhythms and cycles – woman’s menses, then menopause. These are natural rhythms and cycles where it is obvious that the hormones take a part as they are changing and adjusting.
The hormones are also very visible when we think about the word “stress”. What does it do in the body? You have heard about adrenal glands, you have heard about really being “stressed out” and that it hurts your body. Even more people now are starting to become aware of what’s called “chronic long-term mindsets.” These are those more surreptitious levels that set up the hormones in a way that deteriorates the body.
If you look at the hormonal response, it really nurtures whatever part of me “I” am identified with. So, the more we come from “I” the more integrated we are in ourselves, in all those parts of me, the healthier we are. This is really a holistic journey towards uncovering the Self or “I”, or all of those words we used earlier.
Exploring the Opportunities For True Healing
Avril: Look at this lovely picture here!
We’re starting now to explore this true healing, these opportunities for true healing in the life of a woman. Some of the main gaps for women are coming through the natural rhythms that we experience, through our hormones. There are some big gaps for us related to them. These are happening on three different levels for us – physically, emotionally and mentally. In our rhythms and cycles, there’s an opportunity to explore, learn and connect with the mystery of who we are. Each of us has a unique story.
As women,we will have similar emotions, similar physical symptoms, similar experiences in our lives that we’re dealing with through these cycles, through these rhythms but then we all have our own life as well. So, my experience that I have in my life is different than somebody else and the gaps that I’m here to work with in my life are unique to me.
There are lots of different things that can go on for a woman both in her cycles and in life in general that are going to have an effect on these rhythms and cycles. Today, we’re going to be exploring this specifically through menses.
Menses – a natural cycle in the life of a woman
Menses is being used here as an example to begin exploring these opportunities for the true healing in the life of a woman. How does it start for a girl or a young teenager when her menses is approaching or when it actually starts? What does it mean for her? What information is she given?
There could be the odd person, the odd woman who will introduce the process to them as something magical and mysterious, something to look forward to. It could be “Wow, what’s this going, what’s gonna happen here?” I can remember when I did experience aspects of that feeling, when you are completely into the unknown, you are told things but what does this actually mean? It all could be introduced perhaps as an opportunity to learn and to work with the flow of life, to work with these rhythms.
However, very often it doesn’t go into that actually. A lot of women aren’t introduced to it in that way. It could be something as basic as “you’re not pregnant or you are pregnant” or “this is your time when you can have a baby” and this is what is all about; it could be something really technical or medical like somebody was showing a pencil drawing of what was going to happen during this time for them, what menses would look like; it could be a curse to dread and menses used to be called “the curse”. Actually, this is what some women have been calling it throughout their entire lives. It could be shown as something shameful and secretive or something that was mocked; were we dirty because of it?
There is lots of different stigmatization around it which is quite negative. So, the conditioning for girls around this is going to start early puberty or before that. We might hear about it in school from a teacher, from a health class, our mothers, our friends, if we have a sister or somebody else in our family etc. Because it’s very often presented as negative or something to hide, we get conditioned right away to suppress the symptoms and to suppress that experience, and we adjust ourselves in order to manage.
Actually, it is not only about menses but it’s the entire introduction to womanhood as well. This is what being a woman is about, this is how it starts and part of this adjusting could also be when we are adjusting ourselves and suppressing things. There might be a lot going on for us and we might go seek support and if this is conventional medical support, often it’s going to come in the form of a prescription – some over-the-counter medication. However, these pills are further suppressing what’s going on for us and they are not actually helping us to explore or get to the true cause of what’s going on, or to heal through that.
What is the purpose of menstruation?
Let us continue with exploring the opportunities and looking at what is the purpose of menstruation. The body is releasing the old and preparing for the new, on a very physical level this is happening. The hormones make the lining of the uterus thicker preparing it for pregnancy but if we don’t become pregnant then the body lets go of this egg and it flows out with the blood.
Very physically something old is being released and then the body is going to start preparing for something new but remember this is happening emotionally and mentally as well. It’s not just physical. We can take this and this is where the opportunity is. If we can take this beyond the physical of the “me”, there’s an opportunity in each cycle to take this deeper.
My Own Story of Filling in the Gaps of Knowledge
Starting from here I’m going to share a story and this is my own story. These are the pieces of my own journey of working towards filling in my own gaps in this area because I certainly have them and I am still working with them.
I used to work as a health consultant and manager at a health store which involved working with customers. As I got more involved in the business I became aware of certain operations in the business that were ineffective and inefficient, they felt really old and stuck to me and I didn’t really like these things.
These gaps were confirmed for me in a number of ways, including when the owner of the business themselves would talk to me about some of the challenges with the business. They asked me for my input on what I thought wasn’t working and why. Also, they wanted to know if I had any suggestions around what could be changed. I would share with the owner and then carry on working with the hope that things might actually get done differently to start making the required changes in which they expressed their interest and they wanted my input.
So, one day at work during my pre-menses time I became highly agitated because in my pre-menstrual time personally I get quite grouchy. This time I became extra agitated because the things that were my usual annoyance at work were standing out even more. The things I saw were the problems I hadn’t heard anything about them, I hadn’t seen anything different happen with them. I was wondering why these things were still sitting there, these old things. They were really getting to me even more so because I’m quite in heightened sensitivity at this time.
On top of this, I overhear the business owner talking to a colleague of mine. They’re sitting there asking them questions about the business and saying that they don’t know why or what’s going on with the business, what the problems are as they don’t know what to do. I’m thinking “Well, I had this conversation with you, not even just one time but a few times and now you’re acting like you don’t even have any clue what’s going on here.”
At this point, I felt like I was going to explode. I felt that the business owner did not really listen to me or even care about my input and this hurt. In my thoughts I blamed the owner for both not listening to or caring about me. As well as for making my work life overall just more difficult by not changing these ineffective old models in the business.
I did know that I tend to get very emotionally sensitive during my pre-menses days and I took this into consideration of how upset I was, because it was beyond upset. This doesn’t excuse the business owner but this story is not specifically about how I resolved my challenges with the business owner. This is simply a part of the puzzle of what transpired for me and my own learning through how upset I got and where this led.
So, I took into consideration my pre-menses sensitivity and I told myself that I was likely just being extra negative because of this heightened sensitivity. Also, I told myself to pull myself together and get back to work. There is this negative thought in my head “Pull yourself together, you’re just going through this, so deal with it and get on with things!” In order to get on with the day, I suppressed everything that was going on. I had to manage the day but this is just what I did – I suppressed it.
Just as a note, later on that day, I ended up assisting a young girl who came to the health store. She was a young teenager and she’d been having some PMS symptoms, some premenstrual symptoms. She was very emotional and uncomfortable and she wanted some assistance with that. So, I ended up helping this girl. We’re gonna pause on the story for now and move forward with the presentation.
Menses – to Begin Exploring the Opportunities for True Healing In Relationships
We’re continuing to explore the opportunities for true healing in relationships. So, Garrett and I are here together, there’s no accident with that. We’re exploring this together and have been for many years now as a married couple. Relationships play a huge role, especially the relationships between men and women. There’s big gaps in knowledge here and again they definitely come up during our monthly cycles.
Also, how we feel about ourselves as women overall will hugely affect how we relate to men and how we experience our cycles. As Garrett shared in the beginning, this is also a huge opportunity for men to learn through these cycles, through the relationships with the women in your life. The women are highly intuitive and sensitive at this time and if you’re both working to fill in your gaps in knowledge, both as individuals and as a couple, there’s a lot that can be explored here, there’s a lot that can be brought up in this heightened sensitivity. So, big opportunities here if we allow it to come out because all can be suppressed, just like this story I shared where I suppressed things down. We’re going to explore this even more as we go.
One thing that could go on for women is that we take our negative emotions and we don’t feel good about ourselves, then we end up using them against the men in our lives and blaming them for how we feel. We expect them to understand everything that’s going on for us. Again, these types of issues will surface when we have the gaps in our knowledge overall and around our cycles.
Also, how the men in our lives perceive and act towards these cycles greatly impacts what transpires for us during this period. Do they expect the worst from us and only see the emotions as negative? Do they react and become defensive when we’re bringing these heightened emotions up, this heightened sensitivity? Garrett, would you like to share anything here before I continue the story?
Garrett: Yes! Avril, you’re going to reveal a lot of what has already transpired for us through the story, so we’ll get into that but just a few points I would like to add.
If you’re in a relationship with a woman and you want to have a good relationship, it makes sense to try and understand her state of being. If we just label it as not important then it’s going to be a missed opportunity to learn and grow. Avril was talking about this heightened sensitivity and as I said earlier in the presentation, there’s the subconscious as well as the conscious.
So, if you want to understand the heightened sensitivity you can learn from those gaps in knowledge. The woman during her menstrual cycle has access to that subconscious level in a way that she doesn’t normally. This means it opens up opportunities for me to tap into things that are in my own subconscious if I listen to the message from the female beyond the face value.
Avril: The message could seem really insignificant or something real face value, something that doesn’t seem important…
Garrett: And likely to be highly irrational at that point because if you think about the subconscious and bringing that to the conscious, meaning taking a fragment of “me” that’s hidden and making it visible so you can work with it, that’s not going to be a logical process, that’s going to be something beyond this. If we stay only with our logic then we’re just going to argue with women and this is not going to serve anyone. So, we need to broaden our horizons there, at least I invite you to. Because why would you be in a relationship with anybody if you didn’t want to have a good relationship?
Avril: I’m going to continue with my story now. I’m going to share two different scenarios of things that have transpired in my relationship with Garrett, just two.
In relation to this because we’ve had both of these types of experiences when I have been in this upset state.
So, in the first scenario – when I get home from work that evening I’m still carrying around this emotional upset from the day because I just suppressed it. It didn’t actually go anywhere. I had to manage to get through my day but it is still there. Now, I’m coming home to this person that I have been in a relationship with for many years and there’s a level of trust there, for sure. So, now I’m feeling safe about my emotions starting to come up again and they do, it’s just something that happens. Now, I have the space and they are coming up again.
When I come in and greet Garrett, I say “Hello!” but these emotions have already started coming up. It all comes out grumpy, my tone is grumpy and Garrett responds happily but with alertness. He can first try to see what’s going on for me so as not to jump to conclusions that I’m upset with him in some way. However, he’s still unsure of where I’m at and in his wobble of “What’s going on, I’m not sure what’s happening here with her”, he starts trying to find out for me what is actually going on. All this is going on before I even get my coat off.
“What’s going on, what’s happening, how was your day…?” he asks me before I have the chance to even get my coat off yet. So, I get annoyed and I react angrily that I need some space, then he gets defensive and angry with me for being so bitchy with him when he didn’t do anything wrong, and then a fight erupts. After the fight, our whole evening is spent in silence as we both suppress our hurt further in order to just go to bed and get some rest. That’s the first scenario of something that could transpire.
Garrett: Just put one little note in there. You noticed how Avril was saying that I was wobbly. Men, you are aware that something’s going on so do not suppress that either as we have to learn to work with it. I just wanted to put that piece out. Thank you.
Avril: Thank you! Now, the second scenario and in this scenario we can see how to start filling in the gaps in knowledge and support the true healing. So, again it starts out the same as I get home from work and I’m still carrying this emotional upset from the day as it was suppressed.
When I greet Garrett in our home and these emotions can come up again, it comes out almost grumpy. Almost as I take a bit of a pause and I am going to get into this more as we go. However, I take a pause this time. There’s still this huge surge of emotions sitting there. There is anger and sadness and I want to be grumpy, and I want to lash out at him but I don’t. I don’t want to get angry with him. There’s also this part that’s coming up here that I don’t want to get mad at Garrett because he’s not to blame for how I’m feeling right now.
Yet, when the greeting comes out because of all that is going on inside, it’s not grumpy but it’s still stern. I am still not happy or anything like that, so there’s still this stern tone going on for me and Garrett picks up on my tone. Yet, he knows that my menstrual cycle is soon starting and that I’ve been struggling with the challenges at work because I talk to him, we talk all the time. So, he greets me calmly and warmly, and he gives me some space to get settled, and lets me know that he’s here if I would like to sit and share about my day when I’m ready.
So, when I’m ready I sit with him and I do want to share. Garrett asks me at this point if I’d like to do a coMra therapy treatment while we talk in order to support harmonizing my state of being. I accept as I’m still feeling frazzled and I know that the Universal 5 treatment will calm me down. I then begin to share about my day and how upset and emotional I got over the issues at work, and how I felt from the owner’s inaction of what was going on there.
Garrett listens as I release the pressure, he just sits there quietly allowing me to get everything out that I need to get out. When I’m feeling complete with my sharing he asks me a few questions around how upset I got. He feels that it’s not necessarily this isolated incident and suggests that there could be more for me to explore around this issue, with all this hurt going on for me.
I pause and I sit with this as I know that I was extremely upset and that I suppressed it. It did seem out of proportion even with my heightened emotional state. I am not judging it negatively I am just thinking that there’s clearly a lot that goes on for me here, it’s not only about this. As I’m sitting with this it occurred to me that perhaps there was a connection between this hurt and the young teenage girl that I helped in the store earlier with her PMS and emotions.
When I was thinking about the connection with this young girl I then had this realization that I’ve actually been dealing with this type of hurt and upset in my time of my cycle since I was a teenager and also that over the years I’ve been suppressing it. I just got this realization of all this time and all this suppression. I’d suppressed it so much that I wasn’t even able to acknowledge it. I’d hardly even noticed it sometimes, yet it was always there.
The overall theme was how explosively upset I would get and then suppress it because it was so negative, and I was feeling that I was negative. This was how I felt about myself. I suppressed it because it was negative and I was just seeing it all as negative, and that I was negative, and I was a bitch if I didn’t manage to push those emotions away, all that was going on for me. I am going to pause again on this story here.
Stop Suppressing and Stop Resisting
So, we continue with how to fill in the gaps in our knowledge and support our true healing. In order to fill in the gaps in our knowledge we have to want to do this. We have to want to learn from the language of the body and stay aware. We have to want to stop suppressing it and stop resisting what’s going on for us. Otherwise, we just won’t have access to it.
We’re looking here also at emotional sensitivity vs. tumultuous misery. I call it tumultuous misery because personally this is how it has felt for me over the years around the time of my cycle. When we’re talking about the heightened sensitivity for women, being really aware, having this access that we don’t normally have… that’s all sitting there. As I shared I’d had this experience with all this hurt sitting there too. So, when all that hurt is sitting on top of that, this is when I experience this tumultuous misery. Because there’s not this natural flow or process going on, I’m resisting and suppressing it. It becomes a very uncomfortable situation whereas the emotional sensitivity doesn’t need to be that upsetting.
Garrett: Just to add one piece here. For the men, this is a time of not trying to jump to solutions, to get this done, and dusted, and sorted so that everything is okay between you and the woman at that point. This is a time of patience because I would have said there’s layer upon layer and “ the woman is the closest arrow, is my closest mirror,” I also have layer upon layer sitting on top. So, to try and fix her is not the thing to do. It’s trying to relate to each other, patience and working with each other in that respect as well.
Avril: Also, a part of wanting to learn from the language of the body is being aware of what can I let go of here, the letting go of the old and allowing the new to be able to come in. So, while something old is moving out, you stay aware of this and allow that process to happen. We’re talking about the things starting on the emotional and the mental level, and then moving into the physical. So, as women if we’re experiencing uncomfortable physical symptoms during our cycles, then this is connected to the emotional and mental stuff that hasn’t been dealt with and is moved into the body. All those physical symptoms are as a result of not filling in our gaps at the emotional and mental level.
Just something interesting to note about wanting to actually learn and fill in these gaps. There was this one article that I was looking at in preparation for this webinar. This particular woman had figured out that during a woman’s lifetime there’s approximately 500 weeks or 3 500 days that she goes through with her menstrual cycle in her lifetime. All these days there is a huge opportunity to get guidance from what happens through these cycles and if we don’t then we’re kind of flushing that down the toilet.
Garrett: Almost 10 years of actual day-to-day life… and the same goes for men. If we don’t work with women, we’re also flushing that down the toilet.
Avril: Another point I want to touch on here is that there’s different turns of the spiral with this. We’re not going to figure things out overnight. It’s a journey and we have to watch out for expectations here because those expectations can start piling on the hurt again. Also, the discomfort for us when we’re expecting that “I’m supposed to have dealt with this by now” and “Look, I’m still doing this.” There’s different turns of the spiral and we’re going to learn things at different times throughout our life. So, just allow that turn of the spiral to go deeper in these gaps in your knowledge as you go forward.
When you look at the two scenarios between Garrett and myself, even getting from that first one to the second there would have been turns of the spiral in order for us to be able to deal with that differently, for me to take that pause and not just lash out at Garrett. Then also for Garrett to not just automatically get defensive because I sound stern. So, that was already another turn of the spiral.
Garrett: In terms of the menses happening each month, you cannot just fill in the gap at once. It is a challenge that will take time, you have to keep working on it and do it step by step.
Avril: I’m going to continue with my story now. I had the realization that evening about the young girl and how long this was going on for me. As I sit with this realization, over the evening I end up having a memory that came up to me of when I was a young teenager, in my early years of menstruating. The memory was around these young boys in my school making fun of myself and the other girls about our PMS. They’re saying how negative and bitchy girls were during their PMS. They also made lots of nasty comments and one of them was around our vaginas having a bad smell, things like that. It wasn’t at all a nice experience.
These boys laughed at us, they treated it as a joke and as if us, girls, were like a danger to everybody, so “Watch out for them!” I’d also seen this played out on television shows where PMS was used as a way to make fun of a woman in this time of emotional sensitivity and made her look like a monster that nobody wanted to be around. Again this message coming through was “Watch out for her!”
So, with the realization that I’ve had that day from the interaction with the teenage girl and now this memory, I started to see how this all began for me. How I began to feel so bad about myself and how negatively I perceived my emotions, how I believed I was a bitch especially around my menses cycle. I was starting to see how this happened and why this had been such an unpleasant experience for me, that tumultuous misery I mentioned here. Again I will pause on the story and we’re going to move forward.
Menses – How to Start Filling in Gaps in Knowledge and Supporting True Healing
Every month these natural rhythms bring us an opportunity for transition. This natural rhythm is closely connected to the rhythms in nature. We experience heightened sensitivity and with that we have this even better ability to connect the dots and to fill the gaps in. When we choose to become aware of and come from our true self, when we decide to act from our “I”, we step back and pause. I want to come from “I” in order to learn because we have to come from the “I” to fill those gaps in.
We can become aware of how we may have been conditioned around our cycles and where and when these parts of “me” become wounded and conditioned, and separate. They cause us to continue to live in shame and feeling bad about ourselves because of our emotions. Some women may even resent being a woman for how negatively we see ourselves. It wasn’t only about menses, these ideas that we shared earlier about when this first started for us, this is about womanhood in general.
These things go on for us so much so that we place the power outside of ourselves and ask for pills or some other form of self-medicating. All of that is in order to suppress the pain that we feel but our true selves, our “I”, can access the calls of these fragmented parts and connect things in order to fill the gaps in.
Garrett: One thing I want to touch on is again this is not just happening for the woman, it’s happening for us in the sense of your gap in knowledge is my gap in knowledge in terms of opportunity and working together. So, we have to keep bringing this back to ourselves, men, as it’s our opportunity too. When I support you to win then I win too. If I don’t, if I frustrate that process then I lose too.
Avril: I will continue with the story. Now that I had seen all of this for myself I also saw how I carried this belief about myself with me throughout my life and how it impacted me overall. Actually, it wasn’t just impacting me when my menstrual cycle was going on, just it came up so strongly and it shows up more potently during the cycle.
So, with this huge upset that I had at work even though the business owner didn’t appear to have heard me or taken on board my input, my level of upset was so huge that I only ended up hurting myself in the process. I frazzled myself physically, emotionally and mentally. With carrying with me the pain of feeling bad about myself and seeing my emotions and myself as negative, I reacted to this situation and others in my life with the weight of this pain.
This is that fragmented “me” that I’m fully attached to when I’m having this level of reaction going on. At that point, I believe that this is who I am, I am this negative person, I am this bitch and it’s painful. This pain is who I am and with this attachment I’m not actually able to see any gap in my knowledge. This is who I am and I have no bigger vision to be able to access, what the true cause is and what’s going on.
However, when you take a scenario such as the second one that I went through with Garrett, when I had the space to share with someone who wanted to listen to me and allow me to release the pressure, I chose to start coming from my true self, I chose to come from my “I”. And this started earlier in the interaction when I chose to contain that urge to lash out at Garrett, then again for Garrett when he chose not to go into the defensive mode. He chose not to get defensive about my state of being.
At that point of choice when both of us came from the “I”, the interaction is not from these fragmented “me”s. Then what came out of it was this huge realization for me. I was able to see that part of my introduction into the world of my natural rhythms as a woman and of womanhood in general. I wouldn’t have been able to see that coming from the fragmented “me”.
Garrett: One little piece of learning in relation to that was to not jump to solutions so quickly but to allow a space for things to unfold.
Avril: Yes, not try to fix it for me!
Garrett: Exactly as that’s the opposite of what you want.
Menses – a Natural Rhythm of Mystery and Power
If we want to learn about this and fill in our gaps of knowledge coming from the “I”, this is what menses can become – a natural rhythm of mystery and power. We’re in rhythm with nature and with the seasons during the cycle. We’re in an altered state of awareness and we have deeper access to the unknown, and to the opportunity to let go of the things that are old in our lives and aren’t working. The power and mystery inherent in what occurs for a woman on the physical, mental and emotional levels can be seen as all of that above or it can be explained away or suppressed through a dry mechanistic model. It will continue to be suppressed if one chooses to resist the flow of this natural rhythm.
However, if we choose instead to use it and experience these rhythms and everything around it in order to learn, it opens up a world we never knew existed. Because it was all suppressed and pushed underneath that emotional sensitivity we experience all these negative emotions like feeling bad about ourselves. We didn’t even know that something else existed. I couldn’t even have dreamed that it existed.
Garrett: The effect of that is more harmony in our relationship, within yourself and myself.
Avril: So, I’ll continue with the story now and this is the last final segment of it. Like I said at the beginning, I’ve had different turns of the spiral and looking at these gaps around my natural rhythms as a woman. This particular example wasn’t the first time but it was definitely a big piece for me because I haven’t always taken the opportunity to connect with these rhythms of nature or to allow this sensitivity to flow. I haven’t always had much access to the new that could come from this altered state of awareness.
But with this new learning around the memory I had and the understanding about how I’ve been approaching my natural rhythms because of this experience as a teenager. I feel much more open now to creating more opportunities for myself and my learning around these rhythms as I wasn’t really open to them at many times.
So, I decided that I wanted to get in touch with and understand more about the menstrual cycle that occurs for me every month. I want to learn what more is there to know about menses and me as a woman overall and during this time, what more is there to this mystery. It opens up as me wanting to explore this even more.
I started to read and watch different things, whatever it is just to get in touch with that more. There’s this natural desire there, natural hunger to see what’s going on because I’d never really learned much about my menses overall as a young girl. I thought that I was told everything there was to know so I just left it at that. When my menses first started as a teenager I did feel kind of excited about it. I was curious what was going on here but then all that was supplanted by the mocking and the stigmatization around it. Now the learning just doesn’t stop with it, it just keeps going. I can see much more potential whereas I didn’t see the potential before.
So, there’s so much potential and power to claim in this deep connection that I have to nature and the seasons, this altered state of awareness that I have access to every month. This is my access to the unknown and also in letting go of the old and allowing things to actually flow.
Garrett: What you just shared really juxtaposes this academic schooling we get vs. true education. You said you’re given this information about menstrual cycle as a young girl and it’s an academic schooling about it. It doesn’t really go beyond the face value of this event. Now, you’re sharing this true education but you had to give that to yourself and share with others.
Where Does All This Lead?
Avril: This leads to using this natural rhythm of mystery and power to become a wise woman in menopause. When we are harmonizing ourselves with nature month after month throughout the years and when we’ve had many cycles of gaining skill and facility, and letting go of the old, and being receptive to the new, now we have this wisdom to share. Now, we naturally want to share whatever we’ve learned with respect to harmonizing ourselves with nature and overall. There’s this natural wise woman who comes out of it. When we said earlier in the presentation of “why bother?”, this is why bother. Who doesn’t want to be a wise woman?
When we come from the place of “I” in order to fill in our gaps in knowledge, we choose for ourselves a certain trajectory for our life. When we approach ourselves as a mystery to be explored, we use our whole life’s journey, our challenges and our experiences of the natural rhythms in order to learn. If we choose this approach and direction then at the time of menopause, we’ll naturally step into this role of a wise woman.
Many of you know Elizabeth Schnugh, she is the co-CEO of Radiant Life Technologies. Many of you know her from the Institute for the Study of Man as well. We wanted to put Elizabeth’s picture here as an example of a lovely wise woman.
The wise loving woman or the matriarch at times gone by was the village healer, the village teacher and a revered member of the Female Council. The council which tended to the emotional and physical well-being of the village.
Garrett: Just think how many times there’s work in harmonizing the letting go of the old to bring in the new. These are 500 weeks when it occurs and this is a lot of life experience. So, you can see how that would naturally set up a woman to be able to be so skilled at tending the emotional and physical well-being of the village because she’s had so much experience of harmonizing the dissonance, of balancing the dis-ease and filling in the gaps of knowledge through this process throughout her life.
And nature kind of says in a way “You’ve done so much work, it’s a natural progression in harmonizing throughout the years of letting go of the old to be open to conceive the new and now it’s really time for you to share this with others.” It’s not really about your own heart anymore, it’s about the larger heart of the village which is the society and everybody around you.
Avril: Now, we’re going to show you the other option. If we don’t choose this trajectory for ourselves, we can also choose the toothless old hag. If we choose instead to approach our life and our natural rhythm as a problem to be eradicated, suppressing those experiences and not learning from them, then we set ourselves onto a course towards the toothless old hag.
I want to share about this picture here because you might know that this is Meryl Streep and I wouldn’t normally choose a picture of Meryl Streep as a toothless hag. She doesn’t appear to be that way but this is a picture of one of her characters from a movie called “August: Osage County”. In this movie her character is one very bitter and nasty woman. So, if you want to see what the toothless hag looks like and how she behaves, you can watch this movie and have a very good example of that.
Garrett: It’s kind of a movie which you need time to absorb. It takes time to absorb because it reverberates about life, at least in our experience.
Avril: There’s multiple generations in the movie, so you can see how it affects many people. So, if you’ve not done your work leading up to menopause then you’re still sharing with people but it ends up being bitterness and fragmentation versus wisdom. Many women reach menopause and realize too late what they’ve missed and this can be a bitter awakening which increases the feeling of barrenness. It seems to become an accepted perception of menopausal women in our society, sadly.
Practical Steps For True Healing
We’ll just go through a few points as an overview for practical steps for true healing. Again, there’s a monthly opportunity to harmonize if we’re having this cycle. Staying aware is very important as we are starting our cycle and then wanting to go with the flow of not resisting, not suppressing. Being aware of what’s old to let go of here and also what’s the new I want to conceive that I want to bring in, what’s the new I want to nurture.
Again, this process could happen physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s not just about I can get pregnant and then it’s about a child, this process is about our whole lives, our relationship and the direction that we’re going together as a couple, our purpose in life.
Garrett: We can actually ask ourselves “What does it look like this old that we need to let go of?”, so we can see the sufficient shift together and ask ourselves what is this new.
Avril: Embrace the menstrual cycle as a time of heightened sensitivity, of mystery, intuitiveness and personal power and pay close attention to the insights and feelings that arise during this time.
Garrett: Men, be open to the totally illogical and irrational that could arise at that time to not just go with “You don’t make any sense to me” but absorb it and let it in.
Using coMra Therapy to Harmonize Your Menstrual Cycle
Avril: coMra therapy and how that works in synergy with all of this. Is fully supporting this harmonizing and it’s supporting the letting go of the old in favor of the new.
Garrett: So, here’s another reason why we say letting go of the old in favor of the new in terms of healing with coMra therapy, to get it in another way, from another perspective.
Here we have Panagiota Kontoléon, who is another wise woman in our Radiant Life Technologies family. She’s using coMra therapy, you can see her treating herself at the pool. So, coMra therapy doesn’t suppress mental, emotional or physical factors, it’s introducing coherence. What I mean by that? Think of a day when your thoughts, emotions, actions and everything is in line, and things go well for you – that’s coherence, when you’re in that state when all the things are flowing well for you.
So, coMra therapy is going to introduce that into your life on the physical level and will support this process. People ask “Isn’t it just suppressing the symptoms?” Think about it this way, you’ve already made a different choice because the decision to start using coMra therapy is that path to true healing. If you look at the symptoms, you make a choice to make a change. You will still need to face the aftermath of your condition but coMra therapy is going to facilitate it. It’s not suppressing the symptoms, it’s supporting you in that process.
We’ve gone through coMra Universal 5 treatment from the User Guide, however there’s a lot of different treatments related to women and things they go through specifically. Especially, when we talk about the stress, there’s a lot of applications for coMra therapy in these practical steps for true healing.
Now, we have come full circle in exploring the natural rhythms, we’re back to another turn of the spiral. We’re going to stop there. Just to remind you that this is not just for the women. Each day, each moment we’re all making choices and as we take responsibility for those choices we can take more of those conscious choices coming from the “I” rather than the “me”, and to see that specific trajectory. So, it is still there for us all.
Thank you everyone for your attention and your time!
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